Hello and a little of the past

Hello my name is Melissa in 23 and live in a small town of Las Cruces,NM I decided to start this blog to help other moms who have lost babys or are pregnant and have gone through the same things I went through. 2 years ago was the first time I got pregnant it was a shock and was not planned to be truthful. But I got real sick couldnt breath at night and went the hospital for some bleeding. Now the hospital said I was ok baby had a heartbeat but truth be told the baby was not ok. At 9 weeks I went to the doctor we tried to hear the heart but nothing, did an ultrasound and baby had no heartbeat. Theres nothing like looking at a ultrasound know there is suppose to be a flicker to show the heart and see nothing. I knew right away my baby was gone. I had  a DNC and woke up in a panic asking for my baby. Talk about hard to wake up from the anesthesia and yell at the nurse where my baby was at. It took me months to get better, it hurts so bad to loose a baby. To this day I know that it was not my fault and it must not of been the time for me to have a baby. 1 year later we tried again but at 6 weeks I went to the bathroom and seen blood on my tissue. Now ladys no need to worry about blood when pregnant unless its red flows like a period and has blood clots. I had huge blood clots size of quarters. I rushed to the ER, the doctor looked to see how I was and also did and ultrasound. By now I know not to always trust doctors because this doctor told me im ok and baby was measuring at 4 weeks. Ok now think about this im 6 weeks baby shows at 4 weeks and im bleeding clots yet the doctor says its ok and baby was ok. Today if I could see that doctor I would slap him and tell him he needs to man up and tell people whats going on. Now this baby was not far enough to get a DNC so I had to abort it naturally. Its horrible I got bad craps that feel like something is ripping my insides out. One day I was watching TV and the cramps got so bad I went to the bathroom. Some people probably dont want to hear this but its the truth and I want to tell you guys everything. As I sat on the bathroom cramps killing me I had a feeling of pushing, as I pushed a little a feeling of something just plopped out of me and cramps just went away like nothing.As I go up I seen something in the toilet without thinking I put my hand in there and picked it up.

As I looked at it I knew it was my baby. I dont know what was harder a DNC or it coming out by its self. I sat there holding it and crying to this day that still haunts me.Now the 2nd babys was not to long ago and we decided to try again and here we are 6 weeks pregnant. Sorry for such a long first post but I know how it feel to be there and for thoughs who are going though this or have gone through it be strong everything happens for a reason.  Keep in mind even if you didnt have the baby your still a mom.

XOXO for now tomorrow ill post a picture of my baby I have right now and ill be posting things from recipes to tips even some reviews

Melissa  <3